<one day late!>
Sunday was Mother’s Day.
This is a little heavy topic, but bear with me.
What prevents us from telling the truth, all the time in our everyday lives?
I know, at least for me, when I was confronted with this topic, I thought to myself:
Self, you don’t lie. Â You are a truthful guy.
But when you really think about it, there are little places. Â Little corners of your mind, of your day, of your person. Â That you don’t share. Â You protect. Â You covet.
And those little things, are where the lies come from. Â Even the small ones.
These are the reasons for lies in us. Â Why do you lie?
For Self Advancement?
Little white lies about who did the work. Â Taking credit for an idea that wasn’t really yours? Â Little steps forward that might not have been yours, or at least not yours alone?
Is if for Self Aggrandizement?
Do you tell little white lies to make you look better to friends, coworkers or new aquaintences?
Or for Self Protection?
I fall into this track more than any other. Â I don’t want to argue about something I have done. Â Especially when it could be construed as selfish. Â I don’t want to own up to my own actions if I feel that there will be reprocusions.
So, in the moment, it seems to make more sense to hide from myself and my actions than to be accepting of what fallout there will be because of them.
But this is a false idea.
There is no real dodging of consequences. Â Merely a deferal. Â Usually compounded by the addition of the realization of the lie piled up on top of the initial action.
So why, why in the moment does it seem to make sense to lie?
Why, if only for a fraction of a second, does the lie seem to make sense?
Because I am not present in that moment. Â I am in the future. Â I am manipulating myself and my experience. Â Instead of being in the moment, I am predicting what MIGHT happen to me and making choices to try and change an outcome.
I am trying to avoid the confilct that might arise from one of my actions, but I also want to reap the benefits of my original action.
I am trying to have my cake and eat it to.
And if, in those moments, I could be more present, I would be more capable of being truthful more often.
Perhaps there are some that are enlightened. Â Or fully present all the time.
But for me, and I suspect that for most, it is more a journey, a process, and something that has to be pursued ongoing…
This is one of my personal stumbling blocks. Â This behavior is something that I will continue to work on. Â But the analysis, the ability to see that this is my action, this is what I need to work on. Â That is the break in the cycle that allows for change.