I guess I picked a really poor time in my life to start this project. Â I originally inteneded it to be 365 days of writing, each day. Â But my friend the Mop suggested that we start with 30 and go from there. Â That seems a better place to start for me.
A bomb went off in my life today.
It isn’t something I am able, willing or ready to share with anyone, much less the public forum yet…
But it brings me to what I want to discuss today…
There is a line in “Kung Fu Panda”, yeah, I know, a kids animated movie… but it is from the Tao, and recently I reread the Tao of Pooh (yeah, another kids story – hey, I am surrounded by kids) and it reminded me that the phrase was in the movie.
And while is wasn’t really a teaching moment in a Kung Fu movie… I think that it is something children will take away or at a minimum absorb on some level:
“Yesterday is a memory.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
Thatâ€™s why they call it the present.”
That is my struggle. Â Both in my life daily, but also in this present. Â To remain present. Â To feel your emotions, accept them and embrace them without being overwhelmed or controlled by them. Â To remain present, and in the present.
So many of us, myself included have lived parts if not all of our lives in fear of the future, or chasing a feeling from the past.
The past, we all reconstruct over and over in our minds until it fits what we are trying to achieve. Â We relive moments and try to return to it as if were better than the here and now.
The future can be a beacon of light, shining hope. Â Or it can be a dark void of fear and dispare. Â I read recently that “Anxiety is nothing…but repeatedly re-experiencing failure in advance”. Â How true that is. Â When I get anxious about the future, my future, is it me examining the possibilities? Â Or is it reliving the worst case scenarios in my mind over and over?
The present is so much more enjoyable when the ego is checked at the door and you allow yourself to be present.
Today, I left the house at around 9:45 and I rode the dummy. Â I rode the dummy and did errands. Â I rode the dummy and picked up the kids from school. Â I rode the dummy with the boys to lunch, then the bookstore and then home around 2.
And betwen those 4+ hours, in those moments today, I was present. Â Perhaps not for the rest of the day. Â Perhaps not at some of the times I really wanted to be today, but for more than 4 hours I was. Â And I will call that a start of something.
For me, the bike is a tool, a key that opens a doorway in my mind to the present. Â Aware of my surrounds in a way that the rest of the day and world try to prevent. Â i need to keep unlocking that door daily. Â It makes me a better person. Â It helps make me whole.
I hope that everyone has a key and can find it in their life.
All the best. Â And in the words of the Mop – Allons-y!